Heroes, one and all...

Lt. Pete Hughey, a sergeant with the Williamson County Sheriff's Office at the time of Paul's kidnapping, was also the commanding officer who assigned Detective Maugham to lead the case and brought in Texas Ranger Matt Lindemann. I didn't meet him until later in Victim Services. I'd heard his name mentioned when Tom and Matt had described their trip to San Antonio to meet the kidnappers and knew he'd been there doing what he could to help Tom get through the ordeal. Like Sheriff Wilson, he worked behind the scenes to do everything he could, pull in every resource available, to rescue Paul and arrest the people responsible.

I've only seen him a couple of times since then but each time he has been gracious and welcoming and supportive. It was with great pleasure that Paul and I were able to see him and present him with a copy of the book recently as a tiny token of our deep gratitude for everything his office has done for us. I love this picture. It captures the joy of the moment and the great affection that we feel for Lt. Hughey and all the people working in the Williamson County Sheriff's Office.

Heroes, one and all.

First Impressions

I first met Detective James Maugham on a balmy day in late February some 8 years ago. It wasn't my best moment for making a first impression. I'd been crying - a lot. Our apartment was a mess. My usual polite demeanor was gone; replaced with terror and impatience. Yet, the man who sat across from me in our tiny dining room remained calm and in charge. At the time, I remember thinking he wasn't listening to me that, in fact, he was dismissing me. Looking back with the luxury of hindsight and having recently had access to thousands of pages of reports, I know now that he was not only calm and in charge, but he was listening and, more importantly, he was helping me to focus on the mystery of Paul's disappearance. I only saw him that one day and our paths didn't cross again until we began attending events at the courthouse that related to the case. In "Walking Between The Raindrops," readers will get to know Detective Maugham; a man that I believe is a true hero.

I've never had the right words to express the depth of my gratitude to him. So many people worked together to bring Paul home, but Detective Maugham was the lead person. He ran the show. For a long time, I didn't understand the depth of his dedication to his work. Now that I've gotten to know him a little better, I am proud for the people of Williamson County to have such a man stand for justice on their behalf. Detective James Maugham isn't merely bigger than life. For many of the people he serves, he IS life.

What they're saying

"Walking Between The Raindrops" is finding its way into new homes everywhere and we're starting to get some feedback. People have thoughtfully sent posts to let us know they've received their copy and that they really like the look of it, are surprised at the "heft" of it and plan to read it as soon as possible. I'm going to share with you what people tell me about the book.

"Amazon delivered the book this afternoon and I can't put it down, Mary Roland. Your writing is captivating, but I've got to get some sleep. Haha. I'll finish it this weekend. Your ordeal was terrifying enough before I knew all the details. God answered all those prayers going up for Paul & you. God is good." Barbara G, Texas

"It's heart-wrenching." "Just sends chills down my spine. Thank goodness you guys had the Lord to see you through." Sharon R, Michigan

I agree with them that God is good and He was with us every step of the way even when we weren't sure He was there.

In the hands of professionals...

I have this dream that I'm watching a heart surgeon work on a patient. It's about the middle of a surgery, I think, because the chest is open, an ash-gray heart struggles to beat as stainless steel clamps and instruments flash like strobe lights above the patient's chest. There's a lot of blood and surgical assistants mop the brows of the surgeons. For some reason, I'm standing right there - gowned and masked - my gloved hands aloft in the "ready" position. I am not afraid. I am absorbed in the process. That is, until the surgeon turns to me and hands me the heart, the beating heart, and says, "Hold this for a moment. Don't let it fall." Then, I usually wake up.

Well, I feel like I'm the surgeon now and "Walking Between The Raindrops" is the heart. I've worked on it. I've massaged it. I've cut on it. Now, I have to "hand" it to someone else and let them do their part, trusting them to "not let it fall" but to make it thrive. Luckily, I'm confident that the editor that I've handed "Walking Between The Raindrops" to is going to help me do just that.

I'm so excited to announce that the manuscript is in the hands of a professional editor and once they're done, and corrections and changes are made, the book will finally be ready to launch!

Check back for more news coming soon!

True crime writing

All writing takes planning and, to some degree, all writing takes research. True crime writing involves mountains of research and then culling through the mountains for "the book" within. "Walking Between The Raindrops" is a combination of first person accounts and documentation carefully woven together so that the reader will get a more 3D-version of the whole story. Putting it all together has been kind of like eating an elephant. Massive and overwhelming at times.

To give you an idea of how much research - check out the reference material I've collected over the past 5 years! This doesn't include books like, "The Executioner's Men", "Gangland", "Border Wars" and 5 years of Stratfor.com articles which are on another shelf.

My part of the editing is almost done. So far, of the nearly 800 pages I had when I finished the first draft, almost 100 pages have been cut! When I hand the manuscript off to the real editor, I expect it will get trimmed down even more. That sounds like a lot of pages still, right? Those pages are double-spaced, so, in reality, the book should end up between 300-400 pages - not so bad.

GANGS - Everything I never wanted to know

Are you an expert at something? Is there something that you know more about than just about anyone else you know? Is it your passion? Your career? Maybe both? I wish I could say that I was passionate about what I've become more knowledgeable than just about everyone I know. Over the last few years, I've immersed myself in everything gang-related, specifically, Mexican drug cartels, for research in the writing of "Walking Between The Raindrops". This isn't a part of the world that I was even curious about before and I don't think they're glamorous or exciting. On the contrary - I know they are as dangerous as any terrorist organization in the world. I wanted to understand how they operated, what their tactics are and maybe get just a little insight into why they exist. I learned many, many things about these gangs and have some theories, but I still have more questions than answers.

Take this guy, for example:

Until last summer, he was the top enchilada of the notorious Los Zetas Drug Cartel. He'd risen to the top of the "queso" by outliving his predecessors and killing everyone else in his way. He is "Z-40" to his crew and notorious to law enforcement on both sides of the border. Even his closest friends feared him and his favorite brand of torture - "el guiso" or soup, where a victim is bound and beaten, then put into a 50-gallon drum of gasoline and set on fire. One close associate told a journalist that Z-40 couldn't sleep unless he'd killed at least one person a day. Accounts of his ruthless violence would smack of urban legend if it weren't for the pile of bodies he left behind all over Mexico. Yet, he recruited and led hundreds, maybe thousands of young men and women (yes, women) on both sides of the border with the promise of money and belonging.

He's not the top enchilada for that group anymore. Last summer he was arrested by the Mexican Army and whisked away to a prison near Mexico City. His brother is the leader now. And the beat goes on. I wanted to think that people got into gangs because they wanted power over others, easy money and to feel tough. Maybe some do. But how do you explain 12 and 13-year old kids wielding assault rifles and participating in murder for hire?

My theory now? As long as there are young people in the world with no structure in their lives, they will seek it out. When young people feel they have no family, they will seek a family out. If a young person has no hope of ever making their life better, they are easy to exploit with the promise of money. Young people will look for acceptance and expectations, reward and punishment in other groups if they are not receiving it at home. Everyone wants to belong somewhere. My theory is that young people who get into gangs are initially seeking family, love, respect and order even if it kills them.

Who would you pick?

A common remark throughout this experience has been, "This isn't like real life. This is like a movie!" Because I have a film background, the comparison isn't lost on me. As the book has taken form and all the details were written down, including reports, interrogations and testimony, it has often reminded me of writing a script.  Paul and I have even talked about who we would cast as key characters in a film version of "Walking Between The Raindrops".  

Here are our picks for "Walking Between The Raindrops" (fantasy movie) with Paul's choices first and mine 2nd.  Sometimes we agreed but most of the time, we didn't:

Character - Paul

or

Character - Tom

or

Character - Detective James Maugham (too late, we picked)

Character - Texas Ranger Matt Lindemann

or

Character - Sergeant Pete Hughey (again, too late, we picked)

Character - Jana McCown

or ??

Character - Michael Jarrett

or ??

Your turn. Don't feel like you have to cast them all - but pick one or two or more and tell me - who would you pick?

Evidence

In any criminal investigation, the best results come from gathering loads and loads of evidence. We've all watched the shows - CSI, Law and Order, Dragnet and Perry Mason. Legal and crime dramas have been a favorite of mine since I was a little girl. I never imagined, however, that I'd ever experience criminal drama in a first person way. Believe me, it wasn't a desire either. Yet, when I found myself in that position, finding evidence to connect the dots of who, what, when, why and how became a near-obsession immediately. Nothing I theorized, though, holds a candle to the tenacious and thorough work of Detective James Maugham. He's one of the "Texas Heroes" in a earlier post. He was the lead officer in our case and my primary contact throughout the course of events. He never stopped. He listened - even when I thought he didn't hear me. He led the operation, directing various agencies and gathering solid evidence that rescued Paul.

In "Walking Between The Raindrops",  I've tried to walk in his shoes and see this story through his eyes, too, from the first cry for help to the last prison door closing.

Cover art that captures the terror -

Cover art for a book is almost more important than what's inside - don't you think? I know I've often picked up a book for the cover when I wasn't familiar with the author.  If the synopsis sounded okay, I would buy the book.  But, initially, it was the cover that drew me to it. Some of my favorite authors got my attention, the first time, with carefully crafted book covers.

I had some general ideas for the cover of "Walking Between The Raindrops".  But I'm not a graphic artist by any stretch of the imagination. Our son Tim is very visually artistic and I believe his work, below, has conceptualized the story in a very compelling way.

Here, now - the cover...

Bad Girls

Women committing crime is as old as time. Lilith, Bathsheba, Helen of Troy - the list goes on and on throughout known history and the not so known. Still, it doesn't sit well with most of us when a woman does something that defies understanding. When a woman snaps against an abuser with violence, we might not condone her behavior, but I think most of us understand what motivated her. A woman who steals to feed her children is still a thief but we sympathize with her. We've all rooted for the woman who's made bad choices for what appear to be good reasons. What, then, do we do with the woman who does bad things for no reason? What do we do about the girl who just wants to be bad?

Meet Sam.  She's young. She's attractive. She's got assistant management experience: assisting in grand theft auto, assisting in the management of prostitutes, assisting in the management of credit card theft and assisting in kidnapping and extortion. What do we do about girls like Sam?

Samantha Casablanca; booking photo - Williamson County, Georgetown, Texas

"Walking Between The Raindrops" - coming soon

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Walking-Between-The-Raindrops

What's in a name?

People have asked me about the title. Did I start with the title? Does it mean something special? No and yes. This book has had several working titles but this one is it. "Walking Between The Raindrops", the title, was inspired by a song I heard from the Almeria album of Lifehouse. "Between The Raindrops" is sung by Lifehouse and Natasha Bedingfield. What I heard was what Paul and I have lived and where we are now.

Writing this book has been easy and difficult, tearful and exultant, frightening and liberating and extremely painful yet healing. It started out simple but became complicated until, as if by itself, it simplified again.

Now that the first pass is done, I look at the editing to come with excitement. Writing is rewriting and rewriting and rewriting. I'm already editing in my mind as I write this! And then, when I'm through with my cuts, I will have other eyes find the mistakes, typos and narrative "fat" to be excised until only the best is left.  That's my prayerful hope. 

Crime Scene Characters

After waxing philosophic for a few days, I got back to the nuts and bolts of getting on with "Walking Between The Raindrops" yesterday.  Overall, it was a satisfying day. Well over 2000 words written and ever closer to finishing the first pass. Today, I hope to finish PART 2, the largest chunk of the book. Part 3 will be a smaller bit. Much smaller.

First, however, I'm reviewing pictures that might be added to the end of Part 2: evidence pictures and videos. Crime scene photos are messy. Snap! Go! Nobody takes the picture to put the subject in the best light. Yet the visceral smack-in-the-face is always exactly right.

For this book, I believe evidence and crime scene pictures are characters, of a sort, with important dialogue. They move the story forward in ways that words would take too long. Check out what these photos are saying about the place that Paul was held for two days.

Perspectives 2

It's Easter Sunday. The early service at church was packed. I loved sitting beside Paul and family. The grandchildren were especially adorable (of course). The pastor's message was exactly what I needed to hear.  Now, thinking about it all as we wait for the grandkids to come over and hunt Easter eggs and have dinner, I can't stop thinking about the mothers and fathers, wives and children of the people who upended our lives six years ago.

What is their Easter like? What are all their holidays like without their sons and daughters - husbands and fathers? The perpetrators' children will likely have children by the time they get out of prison. Some may never see their parents alive outside of prison again. Actually, some may never leave prison at all.

I know that when those mothers first saw them as babies they couldn't have looked at them and wished or imagined that one day that little boy or that little girl would grow up to be a kidnapper, a thief or criminal of any kind. From the parents that I've seen, it's a good bet that all they wanted for those children was for them to have a good life and grow up to be good people. What do the wives tell their children? What will become of their children?

It's Easter Sunday. I thank God for all His blessings, for our children and our grandchildren. I thank Him for all our family and friends. I thank Him for the gift of His son and the promise of the Resurrection. I thank Him for watching over the families and loved ones of the kidnappers and pray that they feel His love every day. I thank Him for holding the lives of the kidnappers and pray that they feel His love, too.

Perspectives

Looking back over the last six years, since Paul's abduction, gives me a strange perspective on the human condition. Since February 2008, there have been major natural disasters all over the world, too many school shootings, wars and rumors of wars and all manner of trauma for human beings everywhere. There have also been grand gestures of great populations around the world lending support and help to the world's most needy or devastated. Celebrities and politicians, students and organizations and faiths of all kinds rally together to send aid and money when horrible things happen to others.

The kindnesses I remember in our case weren't blasted all over by the media. They were quiet acts of kindness. Quiet acts of strength. Quiet acts of encouragement from people who were strangers, now friends, and existing friends who, by their acts then and still, define the very word.  They were from law enforcement. They were from the justice system. They were fellow victims. They were people who cared before we needed care; who continue to care today.

"Walking Between The Raindrops" is our journey from victim to victorious. It's the true story of heroes with uncompromising ethics in a world full of blurred lines. It's the true story of international organized crime terrorizing an average American family - average American grandparents. It's also the true love story of two people whose lives were torn apart and rebuilt.
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