Available Now

It's been a long time coming but the day has finally come and "Walking Between The Raindrops" is on sale in Kindle and print format at Amazon.com. ( Letting go of this book for public consumption is hard to do. I want to keep fixing. I want to make sure it represents truthfully, in every way, the heroes, the victims and the perpetrators. It's hard, too, because this is highly personal and many of these details have never been shared with anyone. We hope that those who read this book will look at the world around them in a little different way. We hope we will all be more aware - be more kind - be more engaged with the ones we love.

The support and encouragement throughout the writing of this book has been phenomenal. Every beta reader has helped to shape the published version. To you, friends, family, co-workers and the incredible heroes who saved the day and fought for justice we are forever grateful. God bless you all.

- Mary and Paul Roland

In the hands of professionals...

I have this dream that I'm watching a heart surgeon work on a patient. It's about the middle of a surgery, I think, because the chest is open, an ash-gray heart struggles to beat as stainless steel clamps and instruments flash like strobe lights above the patient's chest. There's a lot of blood and surgical assistants mop the brows of the surgeons. For some reason, I'm standing right there - gowned and masked - my gloved hands aloft in the "ready" position. I am not afraid. I am absorbed in the process. That is, until the surgeon turns to me and hands me the heart, the beating heart, and says, "Hold this for a moment. Don't let it fall." Then, I usually wake up.

Well, I feel like I'm the surgeon now and "Walking Between The Raindrops" is the heart. I've worked on it. I've massaged it. I've cut on it. Now, I have to "hand" it to someone else and let them do their part, trusting them to "not let it fall" but to make it thrive. Luckily, I'm confident that the editor that I've handed "Walking Between The Raindrops" to is going to help me do just that.

I'm so excited to announce that the manuscript is in the hands of a professional editor and once they're done, and corrections and changes are made, the book will finally be ready to launch!

Check back for more news coming soon!

GANGS - Everything I never wanted to know

Are you an expert at something? Is there something that you know more about than just about anyone else you know? Is it your passion? Your career? Maybe both? I wish I could say that I was passionate about what I've become more knowledgeable than just about everyone I know. Over the last few years, I've immersed myself in everything gang-related, specifically, Mexican drug cartels, for research in the writing of "Walking Between The Raindrops". This isn't a part of the world that I was even curious about before and I don't think they're glamorous or exciting. On the contrary - I know they are as dangerous as any terrorist organization in the world. I wanted to understand how they operated, what their tactics are and maybe get just a little insight into why they exist. I learned many, many things about these gangs and have some theories, but I still have more questions than answers.

Take this guy, for example:

Until last summer, he was the top enchilada of the notorious Los Zetas Drug Cartel. He'd risen to the top of the "queso" by outliving his predecessors and killing everyone else in his way. He is "Z-40" to his crew and notorious to law enforcement on both sides of the border. Even his closest friends feared him and his favorite brand of torture - "el guiso" or soup, where a victim is bound and beaten, then put into a 50-gallon drum of gasoline and set on fire. One close associate told a journalist that Z-40 couldn't sleep unless he'd killed at least one person a day. Accounts of his ruthless violence would smack of urban legend if it weren't for the pile of bodies he left behind all over Mexico. Yet, he recruited and led hundreds, maybe thousands of young men and women (yes, women) on both sides of the border with the promise of money and belonging.

He's not the top enchilada for that group anymore. Last summer he was arrested by the Mexican Army and whisked away to a prison near Mexico City. His brother is the leader now. And the beat goes on. I wanted to think that people got into gangs because they wanted power over others, easy money and to feel tough. Maybe some do. But how do you explain 12 and 13-year old kids wielding assault rifles and participating in murder for hire?

My theory now? As long as there are young people in the world with no structure in their lives, they will seek it out. When young people feel they have no family, they will seek a family out. If a young person has no hope of ever making their life better, they are easy to exploit with the promise of money. Young people will look for acceptance and expectations, reward and punishment in other groups if they are not receiving it at home. Everyone wants to belong somewhere. My theory is that young people who get into gangs are initially seeking family, love, respect and order even if it kills them.

It could have been you...

On a crisp Tuesday morning, February 26, 2008, Paul walked through the garage attached to our apartment to get into his truck and go to work. It was no different than any other morning. The apartment complex, located in a growing area of north Austin, full of working families, professional singles and a few retirees was quiet. Kids roamed through the parking lot on their way to waiting school buses. People got into their cars and headed out to work.

At the same time, two young people, a man and a woman dressed in hoodies and jeans, hung out beside the mail kiosk across from Paul's truck waiting for him to open his back truck door and put his briefcase and laptop inside. While his back was turned the man ran up behind him.

"Are you Paul?"

"Yes," Paul said as he turned.

The man jams a gun into his ribs and forces Paul into his own truck, striking him several times. The woman then joins them, helping the man push Paul further inside and onto the floor so the man can climb into the truck on top of Paul. The woman drives the truck out of the complex. Shortly after that, Paul and his truck are turned over to others; others who demand $500,000 ransom within 15 hours or promise torture and death to him if they aren't paid.

Through the years people have asked lots of questions about this but mostly they ask, "Why Paul?" Maybe because he's such a nice person. Maybe because they hope that whatever the reason, it could never have been them.

Paul didn't know these people and didn't owe anyone a debt. He isn't a high profile politician or celebrity. He wasn't and isn't involved in drug trafficking. He isn't a journalist or high ranking officer of a global corporation.  He wasn't the first target of this gang. He isn't the last target of criminals like them. It could have been anyone...even you.

UPDATE TO THIS POST - I think about this picture and this synopsis of what happened especially when, twice a year, we are notified that two of the convicted kidnappers are being reviewed for early parole and then two more times when we are contacted by the parole board to learn of their decision. So far, neither one of them has earned early release and, with quarterly reminders, neither have we.


In "Walking Between The Raindrops," walk in Paul's steps as he's kidnapped, terrorized and moments from certain death. Follow law enforcement as they chase the suspects - sometimes only seconds away - to save two brothers from the hands of the most vicious drug lord in Mexico and agonize with the family who waits.