Not an easy victim...

Okay, so now that you know you're a target and why, let's talk about making it harder for someone to "hit" you. This isn't about being afraid. This isn't paranoia. This is about claiming your right to live your life. Everything worthwhile in life takes focus and attention. Your safety and security is no different. While there's no guarantee that you or I or anyone we know and love won't be victim to some horrible event, I believe following a few steps greatly improve our odds.

1. Be aware of your surroundings. Pay attention to the people walking by; make sure they see you see them. Most criminals want to surprise you.
2. Travel in alternate routes. Don't be predictable. If you go the same way, every day, you provide information that could leave you, your family or your home vulnerable.
3. If you tend to work later than your counterparts, don't park in dark or isolated areas.
4. The same for traveling alone. Park in well-lit areas with people. Most criminals don't want witnesses.
5. On traveling and social media - even if its just to a local event. Safer to post after the fact than to post live. Countless news reports have been written about the family who returns home from vacation or a day at the fair to find their home ransacked and their possessions stolen simply because they announced they were going and then that they were gone and every other detail of their itinerary on social media.
6. When hiring anyone to work in or around your home, be very careful not to give your trust to them easily.
7. THE MOST IMPORTANT!! Make sure that you have a good communication plan so that the people you love and that love you always have a reasonable idea of where you are and where they are. There should always be someone who will know when something is wrong within hours, NOT DAYS. We call it "knowing when to worry."

These are just a few ways to avoid becoming a victim. There are lots more. Let's face it, criminals are looking for the easy way out. Don't make it easy for them. You might not get justice, like we did, as shown in this photo:

"Walking Between The Raindrops" by Mary and Paul Roland - An American couple's true story of kidnap-for-ransom in the United States as directed by the most vicious drug cartel in Mexico. On sale in paperback and eBook at Amazon.com.

YOU are a target...

Yes, you are. You are either a target or someone looking for a target. I believe its as simple as that. For this post, I'm only going to describe what makes you a target and if one or more of these applies to you...I rest my case:

1. You post on social media where you are, when you're there and who you're with - especially those great vacations.
2. You post personal identifiers on social media about yourself, your family, your job.
3. You take the same route to work or to school or to wherever you regularly go.
4. You don't lock your doors.
5. You don't lock your windows.
6. You leave windows uncovered when you're away or at night.
7. You don't have exterior lighting in key areas or motion sensor lighting outside.
8. You wait until you're at your car to find your keys.
9. You wait until you're at your door to have the door key in hand.
10. You walk in public places reading your phone or texting.
11. You walk in public places looking at the ground.
12. You park your car in areas that are not well-lighted.
13. You go to ATMs (anywhere) at night by yourself.
14. You wear jewelry.
15. You go shopping and, rather than carry items to lock in your car trunk a few at a time (especially during the holidays), you carry too many at once and fumble with keys and bags when you reach your car.
16. You open your door to strangers you aren't expecting and the ones that you are.
17. You employ anyone for anything. (business or personal)
18. You talk to strangers.
19. You travel frequently using public transportation (plane, train, taxi, bus, boat)
20. You work for a person or a corporation.
21. You own a business - small or large.
22. You're related to someone who owns a business.
23. You dress for success.
24. You have children.
25. You have a spouse.
26. You have family.
27. You carry a purse or a wallet.
28. You drive a car.
29. You appear in public at any time, any place.
30. You breathe.

You fit in there somewhere. I know you do. Although YOU are a target, you don't have to be a victim. We know - we wrote a book about learning that.

On sale - Amazon.com

Facebook - Walking-Between-The-Raindrops

The Enemy Is Fear

In between working full time and editing full time and juggling all the other things women do daily, I've managed to watch a favorite television show on DVR, namely,"The Good Wife". A character on the show, a young attorney, is under investigation for possible collusion with a drug kingpin that he's represented. The kingpin is the big fish they're trying to reel in and young Cary is the bait. Unfortunately for Cary, the bad guy is perfectly capable and willing to eliminate threats as he wants. The FBI plays a wiretap of the bad guy arranging to have Cary done away with and lets Cary listen to it, to warn him and to get him to flip on the bad guy. A body guard is hired to go everywhere Cary goes.

The audience sees what's in Cary's head as he imagines someone walking up behind him and putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. Cary's frightened. I know that fear. I know what it is like to have someone threaten my life and my family's life. I know what it's like to look around every corner, to watch the 3 cars behind me and the two on either side in other lanes and wonder if they will pull up and "light me up" as they say. I know what it's like to hear sounds in the night and wonder if this is how it will happen? I remember taking a 30 minute detour just so that IF the guy in the little gray Nissan behind me for the last ten miles IS following me, I can throw him off and away from my family.

It's hard to live in fear. It takes everything you've got. It's exhausting. Evenutally, like Cary (although he only took 20 minutes), you have to get tired of being afraid. You have to realize that no matter what you do, if someone is out to get you, they will find a way and you must decide to live in the light. I'm not sure when that happened for me or Paul, but it did happen. We still make note of surroundings and don't take unnecessary risks but we don't live in fear. And - when you give up fear you discover that all the day-to-day crisis is meaningless, too.

Fear is the enemy. Not Wall Street. Not the Muslims or the Chinese or the mini mini pygmies. FEAR makes us run and hide, turn our hearts and faces away and ultimately, makes fools of us all. The book may open a door to new threats against our family. We know well that these people do not like to be exposed for the cowards and animals they are. Even so, we choose to stand in the light and tell our story and hopefully, keep this kind of darkness away.

I know its been a long time coming, but I hope you will be pleased with the final version of "Walking Between The Raindrops". Pre-Sales will be available in mid-December.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Home - Scene of the Crime

I found this picture of the apartment. Just seeing it, even after all this time, makes my stomach lurch. Places really do take on the emotions we assign to them. Sometimes the association is pleasant as in a favorite family member's home or the little cabin in the mountains where a person may have spent a romantic weekend. Walt Disney knew the power of emotion and place when he built Disneyland. Generations have enjoyed the "magical kingdom" and returned with their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. The same will be said about Disneyworld and the many countless theme parks that have sprung up since then. So, true is the opposite association. A painful emotional connection to a place can be just as powerful in repelling return encounters.

In this case, it's really sad that I have the negative reaction to this place that was once our home. If I allow myself to get past the initial reaction, pleasant memories come back, too. We enjoyed family holidays here. Grandchildren laughed and played. A young woman who would become our daughter-in-law visited us here and traveled to a foreign country with us from here, our meeting place. Auditions for my short film were held here. Cast run-throughs before filming were done here. Crew meetings solved technical issues. Writing was done here. Paul and I planned and dreamed here. And then, like the screech of tires on pavement followed by an ear-splitting crash and explosion of glass, it was all shattered that morning in 2008. Now I have to stop and give myself a few moments to let the happy memories filter in like sunlight through shattered safety glass - a bit distorted but still bright.

"Walking Between The Raindrops" - coming soon...