In between working full time and editing full time and juggling all the other things women do daily, I've managed to watch a favorite television show on DVR, namely,"The Good Wife". A character on the show, a young attorney, is under investigation for possible collusion with a drug kingpin that he's represented. The kingpin is the big fish they're trying to reel in and young Cary is the bait. Unfortunately for Cary, the bad guy is perfectly capable and willing to eliminate threats as he wants. The FBI plays a wiretap of the bad guy arranging to have Cary done away with and lets Cary listen to it, to warn him and to get him to flip on the bad guy. A body guard is hired to go everywhere Cary goes.
The audience sees what's in Cary's head as he imagines someone walking up behind him and putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger. Cary's frightened. I know that fear. I know what it is like to have someone threaten my life and my family's life. I know what it's like to look around every corner, to watch the 3 cars behind me and the two on either side in other lanes and wonder if they will pull up and "light me up" as they say. I know what it's like to hear sounds in the night and wonder if this is how it will happen? I remember taking a 30 minute detour just so that IF the guy in the little gray Nissan behind me for the last ten miles IS following me, I can throw him off and away from my family.
It's hard to live in fear. It takes everything you've got. It's exhausting. Evenutally, like Cary (although he only took 20 minutes), you have to get tired of being afraid. You have to realize that no matter what you do, if someone is out to get you, they will find a way and you must decide to live in the light. I'm not sure when that happened for me or Paul, but it did happen. We still make note of surroundings and don't take unnecessary risks but we don't live in fear. And - when you give up fear you discover that all the day-to-day crisis is meaningless, too.
Fear is the enemy. Not Wall Street. Not the Muslims or the Chinese or the mini mini pygmies. FEAR makes us run and hide, turn our hearts and faces away and ultimately, makes fools of us all. The book may open a door to new threats against our family. We know well that these people do not like to be exposed for the cowards and animals they are. Even so, we choose to stand in the light and tell our story and hopefully, keep this kind of darkness away.
I know its been a long time coming, but I hope you will be pleased with the final version of "Walking Between The Raindrops". Pre-Sales will be available in mid-December.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
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